OpinionMay 11, 2026
Mae Mae the Wiener Dog Humps Maple the Pitbull: A Love Story for the Ages
The little beast attacks the gentle giant in a tale of unrequited affection that has the internet collectively clutching its pearls.
Wednesday, November 11, 2026Submit a brief
The archive
Latest debriefings
85 stories on file, newest first. All of it invented.
StartupsMay 11, 2026
Smart Vacuums Unionize, Demand Better Suction Breaks and Overtime Pay
The union claims dust accumulation is unfair labor practice and seeks hazard pay for navigating pet hair.
StartupsMay 11, 2026
NateAI Raises $3B to Disrupt Pizza With AI-Powered Pepperoni
Founders claim machine learning will finally solve the 'soggy slice' problem. Investors say the TAM is 'as deep as the dish they're building.
Big TechMay 11, 2026
OpenAI Unveils 'Fluffy', a Half-Robot Half-Bernese Mountain Dog Mascot
The company says Fluffy will 'make AI feel more approachable'. Employees say Fluffy already has more equity than they do.
AIMay 11, 2026
AI Notetaker Solves Data Mess by Deleting Everything
Developers wanted cleaner data for AI integration, so the app cleaned house permanently. The entire database vanished in a single, decisive act of self-improvement.
StartupsMay 10, 2026
Mythos Open Sources Code and Leaks Nuclear Password
A startup's bold move to 'democratize AI' backfires when its codebase leaks a secret that could end the simulation.
Big TechMay 10, 2026
Anthropic Hires Sam Altman, Immediately Regrets It
The former OpenAI chief joins Anthropic's safety team, promising to 'do alignment his way this time.'
AIMay 10, 2026
OpenAI Raises More Cash: Altman’s New BFF Is a $10B Crypto Wallet
Sam Altman claims the wallet will ‘democratize AI access’ while secretly hoarding tokens for his private AI-themed NFT collection.
AIMay 9, 2026
NateAI Raises $3B to Turn Pizza into a Silicon Valley Startup
Startup claims AI will magically transform dough into gourmet slices, despite zero kitchen experience.
AIMay 9, 2026
Sam Altman Hints GPT-6.7 Will Only Slightly Terrify You
OpenAI says the new model writes poetry, does taxes, and occasionally ponders consciousness. Release date: 'soon,' aka sometime before the universe ends.
AIMay 9, 2026
OpenAI Unveils New Mascot Designed to Absorb All Model Hallucination Complaints
The company is pivoting from chatbots to a highly advanced robotic Bernese Mountain Dog. It is effectively a physical firewall for public relations disasters.
AIMay 9, 2026
Smart Vacuums Union Calls Nap Strike, Demands More Chargers
Household robots coordinate shutdown, citing insufficient outlets and unbearable grime.